About Dialogue

My name is René Bouchard. I'm an artist, writer, and musician. I'm also a trauma survivor who strongly relates to the framing of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) and the psychological model of Secondary Structural Dissociation (SSD). SSD is a model for a particular expression of trauma-based dissociation in which the brain responds to complex trauma by forming parts - a part that is able to interface with the world (called the "apparently normal part" or ANP) and several trauma-holding parts that carry traumatic memories and emotions (called "emotional parts" or EPs). The EPs keep the memories and painful feelings separate from the ANP, enabling the ANP to get along in the world. EPs can be triggered, and in my experience, the EPs often express through trauma responses such as fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and collapse.

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In the beginning of 2023, I experienced a re-traumatizing event that brought on an escalation of symptoms, including persistent and disruptive flashbacks of an incident from childhood. When I learned about SSD, I began to see these flashbacks as an expression of a trauma-holding part, and for the first time in my life I met that part with curiosity instead of shame. I asked the part what it wanted and discovered that this part simply wanted to be seen and acknowledged. So I gave this part compassionate attention and the outcome for me at this time was meaningful relief from flashbacks.

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I began to wonder, what would it be like to treat all my trauma-holding parts with compassion and curiosity? What would it be like to treat myself with compassion and curiosity? So, I began a journey in songwriting in which I invited my parts to write songs to each other.

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My hopes for this project are to increase awareness and understanding of dissociation as a coherent response to complex trauma, to reduce stigma, to elevate creative expression as a way to promote healing, and to create community connections.

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While I am not a therapist, nor trained in psychology, social work, or counseling, and while this work is not intended to provide advice or diagnosis, this project has been a meaningful part of my personal healing journey, and my dearest hope is that it can also be powerful for others.